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Cthulhu and Doctor Who Why they are better than Jesus.

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Cthulhu and The Doctor are honestly my favorite fictional characters and I’m going to explain why I think they are better than Jesus. For those of you who don’t know much about Cthulhu or Doctor Who I will give a little background info for you. First Cthulhu made his first appearance in H.P. Lovecraft’s short story “Call of Cthulhu” and has been referenced in many other Lovecraft stories including the Dunwich Horror, the Mountains of Madness, and Shadow over insmouth. Now Cthulhu is an ancient monster with dragon wings a somewhat human body and a tentacle octopus head. He came from beyond the stars before the arrival of man he currently is sleeping in the sunken city of Riley waiting for the stars to align to wake him from his slumber and to devour us all.
The Doctor is a thousand year old time lord from the planet Gallifrey, who with his Blue Box called the T.A.R.D.I.S (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space) flies around all of time and space saving humans from such threats as the Daleks and cybermen and the mighty Suhtek.
Now the reasons why Cthulhu is better than Jesus first of all Cthulhu is more plausible than a historical Jesus. Cthulhu is not some wizard he is an alien from somewhere beyond the stars who came to earth millions of years ago. Where the Jesus character is the supposed son of a god who impregnated a virgin and gave birth to himself or something like that the canon of the Jesus character is a little contradictory. Which is another point there is only one version of the Cthulhu mythos compared to the Jesus myth, the Jesus myth contradicts itself on some key points, first the whole virgin birth it’s not in every telling of the story. Another reason I think Cthulhu is better than Jesus is in how each of them communicate to their followers. How does Jesus do it he has a two thousand year book which is itself confused on the details of the story, he also touches the soul of the individual follower but this is a completely personal thing and can’t be proven  if it really happens. As for Cthulhu he too has a book the Necronomicon written by the mad Arab Abdul Alhazared. Cthulhu also communicates with his followers by giving them nightmares but not individually he does on a mass scale and he does not do it to just anybody he gives these night mare to artist which compels them to make an image of Cthulhu so there are people all over the world all at once make images of Cthulhu at once. Has this Jesus character done anything like that? Cthulhu is also better than Jesus because Cthulhu does not care what you do or who you believe in he does not preach that if you worship him he will help you or do things for you. Worshiping Cthulhu only ensures that when he awakens he will eat you first so you don’t have to witness the horrors of his reign. Jesus sends you to a horrible place called hell if you don’t believe in him; there is no afterlife in the Cthulhu mythos. So why is Cthulhu better than Jesus first he is not magic just an alien, he communicates to his followers better and more practically, and finally he doesn’t care if you don’t follow him here is no punishment just reward in its own way.
The Doctor is better than Jesus and I am going to give the reasons why. First the doctor has spent more time on earth than Jesus. Jesus has said to have been killed at the age of thirty three where as the Doctor is over a thousand years old. The Doctor first appeared on earth around the age of one hundred and has been around ever since. Second The Doctor has more lives than Jesus. Jesus is said to have died the resurrected then left earth where the doctor has regenerated ten times and has a few more in him. Third The Doctor has done more for the world. Jesus just gave his life to save humanity from something they were not responsible for (Adam and Eve eating the apple). Where The Doctor has first stopped the Dalek invasion of 2150, he stopped the Cybermen from invading earth as well, he freed the earth from the clutches of the silence in 1969, ensured that  the alien Scaroth’s ship exploded setting of a chain reaction which started life on earth. Stopped Suhtek from destroying earth, and ended an entire war between the Dalek and Time lords. Clearly The Doctor is a better than Jesus.
Jesus cannot compare to other characters like The Doctor or Cthulhu because of the contradictions of his own story and his clear lack of effectiveness communicating to his followers. Do to Jesus limited time on the planet and his lack of action in protecting the world so that is why I think that The Doctor and Cthulhu are better characters than Jesus.

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This is post 11/24 by SSA@SCSU for the SSA blogathon in support of the Secular Student Alliance! Go donate to them!

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-Grant Norman
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One comment on “Cthulhu and Doctor Who Why they are better than Jesus.

  1. The doctor is awesome but no one and i mean no one can dis jesus and get away with it

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